These Moments

It is in the moments that I make peace with sweeping instead of cursing all of the clutter that keeps me from moving forward with my life because my house never gets all the way clean…

It is in the moments that peace can be found in the everyday tasks of living, no matter how repetitive or mundane, that I find the the wisdom to address and inspire consciousness…

To accept all aspects of the journey that my soul travels in these clothes.

Scrubbing, mowing, sweeping, stirring; the veil between the oneness and the illusion can be lifted, suspending need and necessity, and just elapsing as a moment should, with no hurry or mention.

Appetite for Bullshit

Difficult is the path of joy and the allowance of our highest good, when from every angle and at every turn we are being lied to, duped and controlled by the powers that be; powers that are telling us that our world is coming to an end and that only by trusting in even bigger and more powerful forces of government will we be spared.

I’m a happy person. I’m a joyous soul. I love the breath and the life that courses through this body, and I respect and appreciate the ways in which I can come to be even more awakened and whole.

Because of my personal bent towards freedom and joy, I have a hard time accepting the idea that only through subjugating myself under the New World Order will my safety be assured. Each day we are being fed more lies, and each day the corruption and the deceit advance their position and with it, they further their wretched aims, which seem to be global domination.

Has it really come to this?  It seems ludicrous, the things that we are seeing happen right before our eyes. Our freedoms are being systematically withdrawn, to the point where we are now being faced with frightening possibilities…  such as mandatory forced vaccinations and suspension of rights because of the ’swine flu’ pandemic that is not even threatening us at this point, or  being labeled terrorists and carted off to concentration camps because we oppose their aims; or  having our Miranda rights revoked, or the  right to choose vitamins and supplements which is being  severely limited.

Freedom seeker that I am, I  resent the power plays and the false media explosions that herd us all into a scared, dark corner, waiting for the ‘big guys’ to come in and do their job in the name of our safety and protection.

To those who would come in and take away our freedom and our choice, I say  FUCK YOU.  It’s difficult to stay positive when we find ourselves confined, controlled, lied to, poisoned and brainwashed.

Now is a good time to refuse the future that they would have us passively accept. Now is the time to remember how many of us there are.

Do we give ourselves to the New World Order and hope that it all works out? Or do we rally together and decide that they’ve dished out enough bullshit to fill our plates for generations to come, and not only does it smell bad, but it tastes worse. I don’t have an appetite for bullshit, and I choose not to eat it.

Most of my posts focus on the joy and the heart and the beauty and the love that is inherent in our lives.  But with so much opposition facing us right now, in the way of our civil liberties not only being attacked and weakened, but being absolutely stripped, it’s difficult to stay focused on the joy.

Still, in my heart I know that true freedom is not something that we are given by a group of elected officials or stripped of by those very same officials turned dictatorial. We are born free spirits in a material world that places limitations on us from the get go.  Whether or not we are empowered by our innate freedoms enough to stand up and express it remains to be seen.

A New and Hopeful Discovery!

I’ve just stumbled across something in the last couple of days that has me excited because of the implications that are inherent in the adoption of this product into our lives, if it works the way that it is reported to. The information is telling, and it is inherently a push in the right direction when it comes to taking back our personal power over health and wellness, despite attempts at big government and groups like Monsanto and the FDA who undermine our freedom of choice supposedly in the interest of our safety, even though they poison us any chance that they get!

And while I know there are all kinds of people out there pawning off their decoctions and potions on others, whether they work or not, that we have to be skeptical. There is no reason, at this point, to get overly worked up about it, but the possibilities alone are staggering.

MMS…it stands for Miracle Mineral Solution. The components that make up MMS  have been used in water purification and other manufacturing processes for at least70 years. One man of insight and intelligence discovered a way to eradicate malaria from the human body. Bear in mind that Malaria, which is spread by mosquitos,  kills more humans than any other pathogen on our planet.

The person responsible for this discovery came up with a cheap and easy protocol to literally implode and flush out all kinds of pathogens such as cancer, hepatitis, the  swine flu, Lyme disease, heavy metals, such as mercury,  aluminum, arsenic and flouride, heavy metals of all kinds…whatever is not supposed to be in our system…any kind of pathogens, effortlessly transported out of our system with the help of this chemical process that turns a 28% solution of sodium Chlorite and distilled water into chlorine dioxide in our system via a simple activation process. The results are astounding and speak for themselves. I urge you to at least inform yourself of this natural and affordable means of body cleansing and purification…

Miracle Mineral Solution

Savor

It came around. The personal grasp that I have been missing came back around just moments ago as I was standing with a sense of gratitude, petting nibbles, my 18 year old cat. I began thinking about how much love I have for her frail, furry frame. “I” became “we” as our essence merged into the one divine essence. Our path together has been but a flicker. “I” realized in a moment of awakening the great truth, internalizing it much deeper than ever. We hear it all the time…It doesn’t seem like such a great or profound secret, but I think it is a great secret…the greatest secret and perhaps the only true human secret. But the secret has been hidden right in front of us, or perhaps within us, this entire time… We are all connected and we are all one…of course. I’ve ‘known’ it all my life and preached it for the last twenty years.

In meditation the lines have melted and I have seen. In trance and in trips, I have experienced bliss, peace and timelessness. Today the perspective continued to widen. The “I” really is only there to distinguish our persona from the rest of the world that we create. It’s such an intense knowing now. “I” exist only so that I could have this very realization and carry it forward to play this amazing game where my task is to observe how this realization becomes more prevalent as more and more of our persona’s remember this secret and actually commit to move forward with the awakening process…our awakening process….the process of divinity imagining itself.

“I” can gently remind all of the other characters of the universal fact that not only is this secret really true, it is also really powerful.  People often hear something over and over and just assume it to be true without actually feeling and experiencing the truth of it. To fully understand, we must submit to allowing the realization to open further. It’s like unconscious consciousness. I can’t make anybody feel it, though.

I can live my ‘life’ here with much understanding and have a full on awakening experience from this moment forward, living in gratitude that I am here with eyes to see and committing to myself that for as long as I do exist in this form, I will appreciate and view worthy of love and growth the spirit that flows through these veins and meridians. But just as importantly as the gratitude which I give to myself, I extend that gratitude outwards, to touch each and every being that exists or has ever existed. All of my personal musings can serve more fully towards being a source of awakening for others. Same goes for everyone. Ultimately, especially right now, at this incredible time in history, there needs to be a focused effort to reawaken and to gently reacquaint people to the knowledge that right now is the eternal now, and only separated from everything else that has ever or will ever exist by…by what? no-thing-ness? Divine essence? This moment is ALL moments. There is no division. SAVOR!

Big Picture

The lens of reality looks different through each pair of eyes and each beating heart that is infused with the life to sustain it.  Humans are so vast and varied in our methodologies, in our approaches to life and in our values, sometimes clinging so tightly to them that we cut off the circulation of our energies until we no longer really feel anything anymore. We just get bumped around from one experience to another, judging each and every one of them.

Our source has gone missing. Our source has become a picture or a scripture. There are so many people who take it upon themselves to judge and criticise themselves and others, out of lack of respect for other’s experience or their own, to worry and to complain about where they find themselves, despondent, because they forgot, somewhere along the line, the they are IT.

We are all IT.

Telling the story of who I am requires that I first recognize that I AM source, as are you; as is all. I don’t walk around chanting all day with beads or meditate on my divinity (well, at least not every day), but I do have a general understanding that we are ultimately the conscious expression of the energy that is driving the Universe in each moment.

Bam…We’re here just like that, wave packets flickering in and out of existence again and again, yet appearing to be solid, separated individuals…

…the luckiest possible expression of source energy.

I mean, how much ‘knowingness’ does a comet have? While a nebula is awesome in scope and beautiful to look at in photos on APOD, how consciously is a nebula able to alter the course of it’s direction or change into something else entirely? It is Universal energy but it is not conscious in the way that humans are conscious, so there’s the difference.

We are creators of our experience, in each moment, no matter what reality we may be viewing from the personality that we have molded and shaped to construct it.

Scorpio Moon

I feel a sense of impending intensity, as if some breakthrough should be occurring. I feel as if there is something on the horizon of today that will serve me well throughout my life. It need not be a huge discovery, but more of a heightened understanding of something that I already know, along with the next step to take to continue gaining deeper awareness of it. Perhaps writing is the key here, as the moon in Scorpio is helping me to tune into my emotions, and writing them down is a sure way for me to reinforce them.

I’m trying to convince myself that I need to write some articles today, but it is not in my heart to accomplish that task just yet. Maybe before the night is over I can manage five to ten short,  articles so at least I can rack up 50-100 dollars for the day, but I’m beginning to realize that when the time is right for me to write, whether it is for money or for understanding, opening myself to allow what wants to emerge to do so is the best way for me to stay in flow.

I have to have faith that Spirit is telling me what I need to know, and rather than my mental chatter trying to convince me that writing about self storage is the most important thing for me to do on any given day becasue of the money that it brings me, living in flow means going with what spirit says. It is not so much procrastinating as it is understanding that if I write when I don’t feel the words, the writing will not be as good, and I will be going against my heart in matters of money.

To truly be able to experience abundance, I  must get in touch with my self on all levels, and that includes my thoughts and expectations that are centered around making money. Abundance can and should be effortless, and in my life, the opportunities to make money are there, all around me. When I work from my heart, with gratitude and openness, the opportunities continue. Yes, there will be deadlines to meet, and schedules to attend to that are not my own.

Not allowing other people’s agenda’s to override my own, listening with acuity to the wisdom that speaks through me, I can live my life with intention. If a deadline seems too restrictive, I can choose another job. If the pressure seems too overbearing, no one but my own mind is forcing me to comply with it. It is all a choice, and I’m making it in each moment.

Perhaps there will be some paid work done today, as the words are flowing nicely. More important, though, is that the words come when it feels good for them to come, so my work is truly more of a joy than an obligation that the external world requires that I uphold. This is my realization today, with the Scorpio moon guiding me down into my thoughts. This is the understanding that I feel I was meant to uncover. I have glimpsed this understanding before, but not fully greasped it’s importance.

Today is, indeed, a special moment, because I have given myself permission to seek the wisdom of Spirit in all matters, even those that, only yesterday, felt as if they were disconnected from source. I know that everything, in it’s essence, is connected to source and knowing. Why should any aspect of my life, or any ones life, be any different? They are not. Tracing the steps back to source, in each moment, whether through work, attention to detail, argument, relationship, sorrow, regret, or whatever we happen to be wallowing in at the time, is the key to unraveling the web of illusion that we reside in.

Once again, the blessed moon has assisted me in awakening to the matters of the heart, where everything is connected.

strong to the core

I’ve begun something new. It came to me last week in a flash of insight that was brought about by the physical exercise, yoga and stretching that I have been regularly engaging in for the last few weeks.

My insight was that I respond best, and my body responds best, when I engage in regular physical activity of some kind. Not very insightful, I know…but sometimes these things just have to come up and slap me around a bit before I take notice of them.

So, I’d been doing a lot of stretching, and what I call posturing. It basically consists of me moving my body any way that feels like a stretch, and a good one.  As long as it pushes me. Sometimes it’s a yoga posture, or a tried and true exercise, and sometimes not. So I find myself in these quite seductive, and very flexible positions when I’m feeling the urge to stretch.

A few times while doing so, I had been wondering what kind of exercise my routine would most closely resemble, and two days later I got an invitation for a belly dancing class taught by a girl that I know, Kandi Grossman at Mood Belly Dance Studio.

I went on Google, looked at an amazing belly dancer named Rachel Brice, and found myself engrossed in a beautiful art form that focuses upon isolating the individual muscles of the body, gaining ultimate control over each one, and moving the body in a way that promotes strength, balance and femininity all in a magnificent display of sensuality and rhythm.

The movements were so fluid, so graceful, that I instinctively knew that this was a class that I could pursue. And so, with my usual fervor upon a new insight or self discovery, I acted upon it. Last night was my first class, and I would imagine the first of many to come.

We basically did many of the moves and positions that I typically do, with a lot of balancing on the toes and something new to me, paying attention to my glutes for extended periods of time. I had never actually tried to isolate them before last night.

I’m sore as a result, but it’s a soreness that I appreciate, because it tells me that I have stumbled upon something that my body was crying out to find…an outlet for my stored physical energy to be expended and freely strengthened.

Remembering that movement really is a beautiful and liberating experience, for me and for everyone, has been a nice change. I tend to be way too mentally preoccupied to stop what I am doing and ground into my core physical body. That’s what the classes will assist me in doing. Plus, the isolation of muscles seem really interesting and holistic, at least from my point of view.

I’ve never been successful at going to the gym for more than a couple of months at a time. Perhaps these dance classes, being in a woman centered studio, very kid friendly, accentuating the core values of what it means to be empowered, sexual, alive and female, will trigger something more than just good health.

I’m hoping that it deepens my path of transformation by reminding me of all of the ways in which the feminine principle and my own life, deserve celebration and respect, from myself and from others.

What we are is Magic

My oldest daughter, who is only 16, left home the day after Christmas on the last New Moon of 2008, fulfilling a long held dream of hers to move to Portland, a city that she instantly fell in love with the first time she visited in 2007. She had told me again and again that she was going to move there, somehow, and within a year she managed to create the amazing set of circumstances to be able to do just that, leaving the comfort of my carefully constructed nest wrapped up in the fire of independent, determined energy, and lots of Mom’s protective love.   That day was a day of transformation, not only in my precious daughter’s life, but in my own, as well.

Her leaving set in motion a chain of intuitive realizations within me that I simply decided to pay attention to, rather than to allow myself to continue to dwell in the  sadness, sorrow and worry that I was feeling. Oh, there was plenty of sorrow and pain released in the first twelve hours or so of the New Moon that whisked my daughter 2000 miles away to begin a new life. I was overcome by a tremendous sense of loss and of grief, but the Moon called out to me, too, chanting it’s intention that I might choose to take it upon myself to realign with my own purpose, get back to source and make true strides in my own development.  I began to harness the power of the emotions that were rushing through me, and I took it upon myself to allow them to come and go as they needed to, without holding onto the past, which was obviously gone. That night, I realized that my daughter had given me an incredible gift by doing what was in her heart to do; she had given me the gift of insight into my own path, once again.

For the last two weeks, since her relocation to her new and apparently incredible apartment,  I have spent time each day actively engaged in my own development. My body is healthier for it. My eyes sparkle again with the fire of a returned sense of purpose. My relationship with my children is more authentic. My life is calm and centered, and opportunities are opening up in front of me like tiny whispers saying ” come this way, it’ll be good for you”  I follow those whispers more and more, and where they are taking me is a road that I had always hoped that I would ultimately be able to traverse without the nagging doubts of the voices of my past haunting me and turning it into a source  of anxiety rather than a means of discovery.

What I’ve realized, again and again throughout the years that I have spent reflecting, gaining understanding and uncovering from within myself, is that this life, all of our lives, no matter what our human condition, what our financial situation, whether diseased or healthy, fat or skinny, hard or effortless, bought or stolen, this life that we live is the perfect teacher, giving us exactly what we need to deal with for our chosen incarnation.

Why did I incarnate into this body? Why did I choose to be this person that I am living as right now? Obviously, the sense of understanding that I have gained over the last 39 years has been significant. The years have brought more and more understanding, as I’ve been truly getting what I needed to receive out of every intense and volatile situation that I have ever experienced. My path may have veered off here and there to learn important lessons in humility and personal responsibility, but it never, not once, completely left the direction in which it was traveling. It always came back around to aligning with source energy, understanding that ego, too, is part of this source, and not something to be shunned or avoided. Ego is here to assist us in feeling this life in all of the ways that we came to feel it. But it is also illusory; because it deflects attention towards itself and away from the truth; that what we are, no matter how bad our ego wants us to believe that it is, what we are is creation; source; god-force. What we are, truly, is magic.

feebly grasping the big picture

I’ve been realizing with some degree of sadness that my narcissism, my woundedness and the historical relationship that I, my ego self, has with my entire human existence in this form, entirely gets in the way of letting the God self shine through.

I understand that there is no “out there” out there and that all that is, was and ever will be is created from within, through the energy of intention and creation that comes not from me, personally, but from the process that is driving this whole thing.  You know…the big picture. It’s stunning, really to grasp the importance of our ability as humans to cognize about any of this at all.

It is even more provocative to recognize the tragic situation that humans are in, simply because we think our own personal problems and issues are more important that the fact that we are manifested here as the highest (as far as we know) life forms on the planet, completely responsible for, (or rather, letting slip through our fingers) the opportunity to direct and shape not only our own lives, but the future of our species, our planet and to a lesser degree, our universe.

Even so, I can’t help but give my woundedness a platform at times, letting it take up space in my mind, allowing it to cause me to question my viability, my capacity for successful maneuvering through this lifetime. Well, actually, I can help it, I am just choosing not to, though at the very least I am choosing not to with an intact awareness of that choice…which, in itself, is an improvement.   I will not let this blog be a stomping ground for my ever present personal issues. What would that serve other than to perpetuate them?

Instead, I’d like to acknowledge myself for at least beginning to grasp the big picture, even in the midst of my personal annoyances and turmoil. Being insignificant in the greater scheme of things, I can look my personal perpetrators in the eye and allow myself to dismiss them without so much as a grimace, at least in theory, if not in person.

Where will this lead? Evolutionary enlightenment? We are, after all, on the leading edge of consciousness. We do, after all, have a responsibility, and ultimately the choice as to whether or not we choose to accept it.

Can I live my life with dignity while focusing upon the truly greater process of the evolution of consciousness itself, allowing the God force to actually cognize itself through me? Or will my pettiness get in the way? It’s a choice only I can make. It’s a choice only you can make.

What makes Life Coaching so appealing to me?

What drives me to want to be a coach? Is it an innate desire to help others? Is it an innate desire to grow as a person? Is it that I want to become more intuitive and connected with myself and everyone around me?
Today I will meditate. I will ground myself in my body and listen to the whispers I hear inside. I will allow myself to be guided in the direction that my heart wants to go, and I will open to all possible outcomes. I am not afraid of my path. In fact, I am truly enamored with it, for my path includesthe fundamental knowing that only in giving other people the opportunity to grow and surpass their limited thinking will I find that I, too am becoming the authentic and whole soul that I feel rests deep in my center, the source and connection with everyone and everything. I chose this profession for a reason. I felt attracted to life coaching perhaps to increase my level of innate communication, not relying so much on the words as the feelings. I listen, I feel and I hear exactly what I need to interpret and assist others on their journey.