Benevolent Star

Today I feel like a benevolent star.  I’ve accomplished a little bit of all kinds of things since I woke up, in all different areas of life, from writing articles to coaching and ICA classes.  The conversation with my client has been energizing and expansive. Is the moon in Gemini?

Over the last few days I’ve been working on my fire spinning group, Burn Circus welcoming new friends in. Growing comfortable making coaching a regular part of my routine again, I’m looking forward to picking up clients because it’s been really meaningful so far, and I can only see it becoming more so, not less.

I love helping people connect things within themselves. It’s challenging and always fresh. In fact, I have to say that I love everything that I’m doing right now.

 

Full Moon in Aries

Tonight is a beautiful night. The clouds, fluffy waves of pillows morphing into swooping wisps of light, made a perfect backdrop for our fire spinning this unseasonably warm November evening.

Spinning fire is such a meditational activity and it makes my body sing. After three or four rounds with the fire snakes and several turns with the fire poi, I feel mentally cleansed, electrically charged and physically relaxed.

I’m easily opening to my full range of movement when I’m fire dancing now, and it is such a flowing, rhythmic experience! The poi are becoming like natural extensions of my body and it’s very liberating to come up with all of the various ways that I can move and spin with the fire. It makes my life a much happier place to be able to experience this ritual, this Burn Circus, any night of the week in my own backyard! I am truly blessed!

The changes that this full moon in Aries has brought with it are hallmarked in a very significant passage that took place this weekend while the moon was waxing in Pisces. My cat of almost 19 years passed away in my arms on October 31st, choosing Halloween as the day that she would make her transition back to spirit, to hang out with the ghosties for a while on her way out the door of this long life that she and I shared together.

The awareness that surfaced within me as I watched her, this warm, loving presence in my life, slip away with tenacious dignity, has catapulted me into a new phase of my life. I’m a woman who just turned 40,  and very busy all of a sudden facing up to every girl’’s worst fears,  that of our youth slipping out behind us.  At the age of 21 a tiny, terrified kitten named Nibbles ushered me into womanhood, and motherhood, preceding the conception of my oldest child…and now she has gently but effectively moved me onward by letting me go almost 2 decades later.

Aging is amazing. Truly a huge matter of perspective.  I love where I am in life right now, physically, spiritually,  in connection with those around me, engaged in life and tearing through it with wisdom and a distinct acceleration of my awareness at rate that is bordering on alarming, but is really just exhilarating. The entire WORLD is opening up right before my eyes, looking at me square in the face with a smile and saying ” Welcome to everything that you have ever dreamed yourself to be!

And with these moments of truth flinging out from me, I can’t help but be a better person for all of the understanding that it is bringing, and once again, even in my ‘lull’ I am finding connection with people who  support me and I am participating in events that make my heart sing. I am receiving offers and confirmation, and life is renewing itself again, despite the fear based level of thinking that I keep overhearing in the break room at work touting the miseries of our world.

I remain clear and free.

I have lifted the veil of expectation and have found myself engaged in the process of experience rather than wrapped in the web of obligation.

Integration vs. Isolation

Topic 1: We are Separate Beings

Humankind is a species in struggle. The struggle is within ourselves. Each one of us struggles to get through life relatively unscathed, looking forward to a time in life when things will somehow be ‘better‘ (for example when we finally get our degree, or payday).

We define our lives by our completions; by what we have done and what we have acquired. Throughout our lives we are told to compete with others and to work against them for our own gains. This is such a counterproductive, isolating stance, and yet we go through life feeling powerless to change it.

Our reactions to the events of our lives and to the people we surround ourselves with sets the stage for our future, though many of us miss that connection, as isolated as we are from each other and from our own true selves.

We are often caught up in our own expectations and notions of what is right and wrong; notions that were likely bestowed upon us without our consent or awareness, though we continue to operate from this set of beliefs without questioning them, creating our lives accordingly.

As humans, we must evaluate and categorize the world so that we can make sense out of what we find here. We cling to our ideals and definitions as if losing them would render us non-existent, identifying so strongly with who we define ourselves to be that we completely miss the point…that all of life is a dance of movement and energy; an inescapable flow that not even death will ever halt. We ARE that flow.

Life is not isolated. Life is integrated.

Even so, our personal sense of isolation is necessary in order for us to be able to live lives of individuality and choice and to experience such a wide, full range of emotions in all of their beauty and intensity. In this way, our isolation is a gift, for without it, we could never see beyond it to the integration that is possible.

Topic 2:  We are all connected.

To integrate means to blend, to bring together and to synthesize all of the aspects of something into one harmonious whole. In life, integration happens when we begin to listen to that small, yet insistent whisper within us that tells us that we are more than just people living and dying. We are more than our jobs. We are more than consumers. We are more than our education. We are more than our financial status. We are more than our families. We are more than our grandest ambitions.

Realizing this, we begin to question the world itself, and the validity of ‘reality’ as we have come to personally define it all of these years. We seek to become that whole, complete person that we somehow know that we can become; we seek integration.

Integrating our lives into one whole, radiant expression is possible and preferable. This does not mean to say that every day will be joyful, or that we will never feel anger or sorrow.

We do not become integrated by attempting to make every day perfect.
We become integrated when we accept the inherent perfection that lies at the heart of each and every moment, each and every day, and we accept ourselves as part of that inherent perfection.

Through integration, our reverence for life and existence begins to bud and grow and we expand our awareness to accept all of life and everything that exists, has ever existed or will ever exist as the expression of Spirit  or Source Energy in all of its endless, creative and varied magnificence.

The ability is within each of us, to take our life and transform it from the fragmented, isolated experience of ego and personality that we have come to know, into the radiant, synchronous, authentic life that we feel in our heart that we can ultimately create. We do this by simply allowing the process to unfold and by paying attention to it. We follow our intuition, we move where our heart tells us to move, with or without hesitation. Life becomes the journey, rather than the destination. Life becomes the moment…rather than a plan with an ending.

Topic 3: Integration from Isolation

Our thoughts are isolated
Our intuition is integrated

Our knowledge is isolated
Our awareness is integrated

Our personalities are isolated
Our souls are integrated

Our lives are isolated
Our existence is integrated

Though they seem to be a dichotomy, there is a bridge between these two terms. It is the place where we are able to recognize our uniqueness and our individuality and yet also perceive ourselves as being a part of something larger, a part of a greater whole, whether that whole constitutes a particular group, like the human race, or the source of life that flows through us all as spirit.

As we continue to bridge the gap between isolation and integration, we come into alignment with what it means to be complete right where we are. Many profound awakenings can result from this shift in awareness.

A skilled coach who chooses this tool in a coaching session can assist a client in identifying the ways that they are living in and acting from a place of isolation.

This is done by asking pertinent questions.

“Who or what are you isolating yourself from in this situation?”
( I’m feeling distant from my partner, feeling hurt or abandoned, blaming, judging)

“Who or what do you feel is isolating you?”
(my boss, my finances, etc)

“How is this person or situation separate from you?”
( physical/emotional distance, point of view, someone else’s fault, out of my control)

“How is that separation serving you?”

And conversely…

“How is this person or situation reflecting something in yourself that you need to pay attention to? “

“How does this person or situation represent YOU?“

“What is the inherent perfection in this person or situation?”

“How is this person or situation challenging you to expand your perception and to grow?”

Integration shines a light on feelings of isolation. Integration accepts these feelings as perfectly ok, even when they don’t feel so hot. It is all part of this matrix of energy and light that we call life, and it is all perfect in its own way.

Integration coalesces all of your ideas about who you are and how the world should treat you as well as all of the nice, neat, mentally ordered boxes into which we categorize our life, and opens it up to encompass an expanded awareness.

Through integration, we find ourselves living from our truth, an authentic place of completeness within ourselves. We also find ourselves more willing to accept other people and the truths that they call their own, no matter where they are in life, no matter if we agree with them or not.

Reflections in the Hourglass

My ICA Graduation requirements necessitated the creation of a Coaching Model. This visual representation is a means to articulate and condense my basic method of coaching.  In thinking of the organic, sort of flowing way that I live my life, my Coaching Model needed to be ‘flowy’ as well. Here is what I came up with. I hope that you find it helpful.

Coaching Model – Reflections in the Hourglass
By Angie Hewerdine

For centuries, the hourglass has been used not only as a device to mark the passage of time, but also as a symbol of the ephemeral, fleeting nature of life itself.

The upper chamber of the hourglass is thought to represent the past. The sands flow quickly from this upper chamber into a small opening in the center of the hourglass. This small opening in the very heart of the hourglass represents the present…that seemingly momentary, yet ever constant window of opportunity from which we gain all of our experiences. The lower chamber can be said to represent the future, the completion of this life through this continuous cycle of birth and death.

Like the cycle of birth and death and the passage of time through the present moment, thoughtful coaching follows a natural rhythm, a cycle of its own that takes a client through one process after another, unraveling the snarls and snags of illusion and the disempowering thoughts that have bound her up in ways that are no longer productive.

Like the heart of the hourglass, our heart needs to be free- flowing and open, allowing us to reflect on our greatest strengths, giving birth to new ideas and creating our life with intention.

This Coaching Model is a visual representation of the coaching process as I see it and as I practice it with my own clients.

Open
With the help of her coach, the client opens up to the ways in which her life is not working, naming one or more issues or situations that are challenging her. Together, coach and client decide which situation to address first.

Acknowledge
With powerful questioning from her coach, the client comes to acknowledge her role in the creation of the situation or issue, thereby accepting responsibility for where she finds herself and taking back her power to change it.

Align
The coach assists the client in developing an action oriented approach to creating change and movement. This could be in the form of goal setting or creating healthy habits. It could also include specific actions that the client feels that she needs to take in order to change the situation and bring her into alignment with where she wants to be.

Reflect
Both coach and client reflect on the process thus far, talk about the results of the actions taken and assess what changes have occurred on all levels. Together, coach and client determine if and where further action or adjustments are needed in order for the client to come more fully into alignment with her truth.

Align
The process of reflection and alignment may be repeated as the action steps are adjusted as many times as necessary, and sometimes not at all, until the issue is no longer an issue or the problem has been resolved and alignment Is maintained.

Acknowledge
Using powerful questions, the coach asks the client to acknowledge the many steps that have been taken on the road to awareness in this process, and the client is encouraged to appreciate all of the wonderful shifts in perspective that have been made because of her efforts.

Open
Once the process has run its course, the coach encourages the client to open up to her growth process yet again, challenging her to select another situation or issue to begin working with, and the process begins again.

Coming down to the wire…

Time is relative. It is all a matter of how we choose to look at things. I know that there is a ‘deadline’ approaching me very soon in the way of my pending graduation requirements for ICA. There is still much left undone, as over the last two years my life coaching studies have taken the passenger’s seat to other events that held strong significance in my life. I had to go out and heal myself before I could feel competent enough to assist in the healing of others.

I feel as if I have done that, and though I have been dabbling with ICA for almost three years now, I still find that there is a good bit of work left undone, which is beginning to give me stress. Looking at it from a higher plane, I can see that this strong push forward is coming at the perfect time, and it is indeed shaping much of what I am going to be focusing on in the future.

I can scarcely believe all of the intense learning experiences that have led me to this point. To think that all of that growth, all of the truths that I have uncovered and exposed, brought to the light of consciousness to be re-examined and reshaped, were all just tiny inlets into a larger sea of awareness…

I do have what it takes to make my way forward, for my way is already made, in my heart. Physical space and time is just a by  product of the energy that has formed it, and the physical aspects of my life all point to a tremendous shift on every level of being. These shifts have been occurring with greater frequency in my life…awarenesses, breaking free of old patterns and addictions, unhinging myself from the petrified walls of illusion that held me so static for so many years…

Coming down to the wire means that it is likely that I will be jolted once again, charged and supercharged with the energy of my own magical life…..

Held in Authentic Union

This life is full of wonder and shame, bliss and denial.

Thinking of the ways that my life impacts others opens up new ways to connect with those around me, whether it is a coaching client or a neighbor, a store attendant or a casino patron. My children, my husband, all are affected by my shifts and my shimmer.

What I want more than anything is to be held in authentic union with other humans, to be able to assist people in raising themselves to a higher level of awareness. This can be done without saying a word to them, merely holding my vibration high and strong, pure and real. They will catch up.

It can also happen in a coaching situation, where someone is at a loss as to how to proceed and I assist them in finding answers through their own self evaluation and moments of clarity.

Even though I still feel apprehensive each time that I sit with someone in a coaching setting, I have come to see that it is a combination of both of our energies, coach and client, that forms the apprehension in the space between us, as my intuition is always giving me stimulus from others to embrace as something to process and to grow from.

Wherever this journey takes me, whatever definition that I give to my services, be it coach or light worker, empath or energy healer, the tapestry that is my life is woven from the same thread, the thread of source, of life, and though the thread may at times change color or texture, the overall piece of art that is my life is one continuous gift to treasure and to help others grow.

An Ideal Coach

An ideal coach is supportive of the client, regardless of the coach’s personal opinions and lifestyle. An ideal coach offers questions and observations rather than advice. An ideal coach has integrity and encourages the client to have the same. An ideal coach is compassionate. They are empathic towards the clients feelings and current situation, yet they are not attached to it, allowing for a well-rounded observational point of view. An ideal coach displays qualities of acceptance and non-judgment, non-attachment.

If I were an “ideal coach”, I would have a practice overflowing with intelligent, spiritual, motivated clients who were out to raise the vibration of the planet and of humanity in whatever endeavor they chose. My life, itself, would be one of adventure, of meeting new people wherever I go, of continuous personal growth and spiritual development. My business and marketing skills would be effective and congruent with my personality and my goals. Living a life of integrity, I would walk my talk with no exceptions, expecting the same from my clients. My life would be peppered with speaking and writing engagements. Most importantly, I would feel the joy and elation of my clients wins and victories, and bask in their glow of success. My intuition would be highly developed, my connection with the divine ever present.

A Moon Full Of Questions

July 6 2009

Full moon in Capricorn.

Today, I stepped outside of illusion, finally having realized that everything that we have ever been told is skewed at best and more likely than not, outright lies. On the one hand I feel powerless to control or even comprehend the depth which we are fooled and duped, from flouride in the water and mercury in our teeth to vaccinations and genetically altered food, global warming lies, terrorist cover ups, and FDA monopolizing, now I find out that it is very likely that the moon is teeming with life and we have been lied to all of these years about what we know about what really exists on the surface of the moon. This is just getting out, but like everything else, has been being leaked slowly for decades. The more searching I do, the more I stumble across.

Tonight as the full moon in Capricorn rises outside in my front yard, I go out to look at it and I think to myself all of the ways that it is significant to my life that the moon is inhabited, if indeed it is so. Today I watched some compelling video by a man named Jose Escamilla and his video is called Moon Rising. Its on YouTube. In it, he documents hundreds even thousands of photographs that have been covered up, doctored and otherwise altered for public viewing  and photos that appear to clearly show the existence of domes and crafts on the surface of a beautiful, colorful moon. Those photos are compelling, shocking and significant in so many ways. And would I really put it past them to lie to us about it after they have deceived us in so many other ways? Everything is a fucking conspiracy! So why is that? Why would they keep us in the dark about it? Are the beings on the moon the E.T.s of our experience, much closer than ever anticipated? Are they benevolent? It is doubtful after hearing some stories of abductees. 

What is really going on here?  Cities and structures? Total inhabitation? Is it true and what if it is?  What vision should I be holding for this? How should I be approaching this realization, that  every night as the moon passes overhead, countless faces have been looking out across millions of miles, pondering our existence, or perhaps even shaping it in some ways? What are we to know?  

The moon is the only distant place that we can actually look at from our vantage point on the earth. We can’t see Pittsburgh from our backyard unless we live on the outskirts of Pittsburgh. But we can see the moon every day, marking time in our lives, stemming ocean waves and rivers of menstrual blood, patterns of migration and  neuro chemicals in our brains.

This new information asks us to wake up ask ourselves what is really just behind the curtain of our spoon fed reality, and replace it instead with the nourishment of personal awareness and the ability to accept what we find in reality, even if it does not hold up to our feeble representations of it. We have to be able to grow with the task at hand.  As long as we continually strive to awaken and uphold our personal evolution on this planet, we will come to the understandings that we  need to.

We each declare our own way forward. For now, I still have my worries and my ever growing awareness of just how deeply the lies have been perpetuated and I can think of nothing better than to completely escape… to literally drop out of such a dominant civilization as would attempt to control and diminish the worlds population for their own gains and to their own ends.

Something good that I can do, though, is ask light and spiritual love into the universe to bathe every surface and cell, every chord and transmission like a tonic, promising that the highest vibration is emitted that will foster the illumination of the darkness and tyranny which have given us these lies to contend with by covering up the truth from us. If we are to ever change the course of action of the indignities done to us by our predecessors, our leaders, those who we have allowed to come into power, then we must let go of the blame and instead stand up and realize the true potential for understanding and awakening that we DO have.

We can work through our issues here on earth. One moment at a time, the veil is pulled back, and we reveal to ourselves that the very fabric of reality as we know it lies farther down than we usually ever go. But then we go there, and we see that fabric of existence unfolding and the colors and the subtle vibration. We come into contact with entities from the other realms and sometimes other worlds. We wonder where they have come from and why they have chosen to show themselves.

No matter what is going on, it begins right here with me, with you, and we can choose to infuse the situation with the clarity of light and unconditional love. Bringing light to the situation, focusing on creating the best vibration that we possibly can, in the moment,  we arrive at a place that feels like home because we have put it there. It is said that we all have gifts and talents, and that expressing them in our own unique way is the goal of our individual creative lives. Whether we accomplish that in one dynamic way or in a variety of smaller, less enigmatic ways does not matter, as long as we express our aims and create in our lives with awareness. 

Many of us are stuck in limbo, predominantly because we work for a living and what time we have to ourselves we spend in front of a screen of some kind absorbing information. All the while lies are perpetuated and we remain in the dark. It isn’t a place where we can afford to be much longer.  We can only assume that these things are true and work to bring light to their existence.  Are we the  recipients of  the watchful gaze of perhaps millions of beings up there?  Who are they?  How involved is our military? Our Government? The World Governtments? Just as I would never have really assumed that our government was preparing for mass extinction, the evidence that I am seeing is presenting the contrary. 

We can focus our awareness on bringing light and understanding, awareness and energy, into the world and all of its affairs. That is what some of us are good at, unless wee become too bogged down by the shit that we have going on to see it within ourselves, but if you’ve read this far than you are obviously already aware that you have an innate connection with divine universal intelligence and that you can tap in at will to this force and project it, infuse it and create with it.

If you aren’t aware of that, then become aware of it, right now. Feel the life force energy surging through you. This is what we are. However we come to know it matters not, as long as we come to it.  I’m feeling the strong push towards seriously blissing out, for the sake of humanity. Is it wrong to be blissed out? Is it wrong to be accepting? Is there a difference between spiritual love and unconditional love?  Looking into the face of a government that’s full of lies, a government that wants to kill us, and offering the magic of light and spiritual love is not an easy task. 

This is a moment in which the impulsive light of awareness that even those things and people who would be my enemies in this world are flowing with the same energetic infusion of atoms and ether as I am, and we are therefore one and the same, whether we are here or on the moon or in parallel universes or in 900 a.d., we are all infused with the same essence, that force of existence on some level.

So it is with spiritual love, rather than unconditional love that I navigate my life, not as travelling a treacherous sea of enemies who wish to destroy me, but with beauty and grace that I go forth into the ethers, in whatever form and whatever way my human frame will choose to support me, and I infuse the world with light and spiritual love for we are all one beautiful energy, firing off like so many fireflies in an endless field of plantain.

My job is to hold the vision, hold the love and hold the light. I really know and understand that this is my vision. I do know, deep in my spiritual soul, that the true reason that I was born into this incarnation on this planet at this time is to offer healing, growth, energy and spiritual love AS my calling, not in addition to my calling.  I may as well begin living up to it.

Coincidences,  awakenings and opportunities continually surface that remind me that what is most important . Remarkably, it is what is most easily accomplished if we just sort of get out of the way of our intuition and let ourselves move with the flow of the life force within us. Our rigid personalities, our characteristic behaviors, all detract from our connection to source. We spend far too much time being logical and reasoning away the explanations of a world that we are all too familiar with, but just under the hazy atmosphere of which is hidden the vastly disregarded truth, bubbling to the surface for anyone who has eyes to see it.

What are a planet full of peaceful energy beings to do? Infuse it with light! OK, change the legislation, abolish the government, stand up for our rights and don’t let our civil liberties be snatched out from under us without so much as a wink while we remain comatose, media-fed cattle being primed with hormones and vaccines and led to the slaughterhouse blissfully unaware of everything that is going on. Do something! And then do something MORE and Infuse the world with light and spiritual love, which will begin to create the shift to peace that we want to reach. Look around. We do want to reach peace, don’t we?

Summer Solstice is Bringing it On

This weekend is stellar, seriously. Monday’s New Moon in Cancer is also the Summer Solstice, the longest day and shortest night of the year, and an important time of festivity among many different faiths.

 Astrologically, this weekend is looking up to be a comfortable, accepting time, from my perspective, anyway. The grey clouds rolling through darkening the sky are welcome even though they are threatening to rule out a blaze in the fire pit tonight.

I’m opening up to the energy, feeling cleaner, after six days of treating myself with sodium chloride, or MMS, it feels as if I have opened up a new channel of energy, as all of the pathogens are being destroyed and carted out of my system and I’m watching how my body reacts to this process.

All at once, one cup of coffee seems to be enough for me in the morning. I find myself pouring the second one out. What? Me? I can go through four cups easy, normally.

Yesterday I went out into my garden and just started picking lettuce off of the plant, rinsing it in a cup of water, and eating right there.

My body appreciated it, and it was telling me so. This morning I got up and spontaneously stretched, danced and did yoga because my body wanted to move and stretch and feel itself.

Almost as if my body and I were finally communicating with me on a level that needs no guessing on my part. It’s intrinsic.

Taking Back the Power

It is imperative that we begin to take control of our own health and stop relying on the medical establishment to fix our ills.

While some of these ills are things that we have likely brought on ourselves, others we have not asked for, as they have been leached, introduced or otherwise disposed of in our midst without our knowledge or consent.

It’s crucial that we wake up and stop allowing this global poisoning to take place, but until we do, we do not have to suffer at the mercy of the toxins that we are given in this world. We take charge by taking personal responsibility for our health and learning all of the ways there are to easily cure our own bodies. And we do this by spreading word to others that they can do the same.

There are huge pharmaceuticaland medical coporations that don’t want us to be well. They thrive on our illness and disease, and so they perpetuate it. If we all cured ourselves, how would hospitals have billions of dollars to build new wings and parking garages?

If I know of something that works, that can help take people from a place of disease or pain, fear and worry, even death, then I have a personal responsibility to tell people about it. This information belongs to us, and we must have the right to circulate it freely so that the most people can benefit from it.

Using MMS, we can rid our bodies of the pathogens that harm us, easily, cheaply and effectively; without doctors, insurance deductibles or co-payments. It is the the most effective killer of pathogens on the planet, wiping out cancer, aids, malaria and the flue effortlessly, every time. MMS is  just one of the many alternative remedies that are available right now that people are being kept in the dark about.

We have the information available to us to be well. It is time that we arm people with it.